CUTTING IN TEENS; IS SOMEONE YOU KNOW SELF-HARMING?

It’s a shock when you find out a personal relation is cutting themselves, deliberately causing self-harm. It may feel like something that wouldn’t happen in your family, to your children, or even to someone you know. It’s hard to imagine a person intentionally causing pain to themselves, especially if you were not aware they were struggling. And it’s difficult to know what to do or what to say because it feels so personal, too private a subject to bring up, a social taboo. Often, it’s peers who are the first to realize a teen is self-injuring. One such case involved a 14 year old girl. She was a classmate fellow students considered different, loud and disruptive in class. At school one day, she casually talked about cutting herself to random acquaintances. It was alarming news, a cry for help. Her classmates were at a loss, they didn’t know how to respond and eventually she stopped attending school.

Self-harm, deliberate injury to one’s own body without intending serious or life-threatening harm, is an emotional coping mechanism; a physical manifestation of stress. Non-suicidal self injury (NSSI), typically cutting or burning of the skin or pulling out hair, is not that uncommon. Approximately 17% of teenagers experiment with self-injury and the average onset is 13 years old, peaking at age 16. This behaviour, however, can happen at any age, even affecting tweens. It’s a period of time, the onset of puberty, when emotions run high and children experience rapid change. On top of that, peer pressure increases as do conflicts with parents or other authority figures.

The act of harming oneself is an unhealthy way of dealing with intense feelings of emotional pain, anger, sadness or stress. The behaviour may feel like a release and bring a sense of calm but it’s temporary, often followed by feelings of guilt and shame. Teens with poor coping skills, who are ill-equipped to handle stressful situations or lack effective emotional control, are more likely to experiment with self-injury. And adolescents who have suffered abuse, or struggle with ADHD or mental health issues, are at higher risk. Further, substance abuse and friendships with people who self-injure also increase the likelihood a young person will self-harm. Some teens may only experiment with self-injury while for others, it becomes a repetitive behaviour, used as a means to exhibit control over their body. They desire to feel something, anything, and to communicate these feelings externally. Fresh cuts, bruises or burn marks are signs that a teen is hurting themselves. They might make excuses for injuries, wear clothing to cover them up, and keep objects, such as razors or lighters, close by. Intense emotional ups and downs and talk of hopelessness or unworthiness are also indicators that a teen may be self-harming. While normally not life threatening, serious injuries can happen and wounds may become infected, causing permanent scarring. In rare cases, an emotional crisis involving thoughts of life threatening self-harm necessitate calling a suicide hotline or 911.

Any talk of self-injury should be taken seriously and not dismissed for fear of betraying someone’s confidence. Making an appointment with your family doctor or a pediatrician is a good first step. They can make an evaluation and suggest treatment with a mental health practitioner such as a psychologist or a registered clinical counsellor. Finding a trusted individual you can talk to who will actively listen without judgement is important. A mental health practitioner can offer support and guidance in learning how to manage one’s emotions, develop critical thinking skills and form healthy relationships in one’s journey to adulthood.