I was in my 30s before I ever heard the word perimenopause. A colleague at work, in her mid-forties and in the throes of a new relationship, thought she was pregnant until her family doctor told her otherwise. It was another “P” word, perimenopause, that interrupted her menstrual cycle and caused symptoms similar to pregnancy. This story isn’t unique, I know two other women who went to their doctor for pregnancy tests only to be told they were experiencing the beginning of perimenopase; literally the time around menopause. Women typically start showing symptoms in their forties although some women can undergo changes as early as their mid-thirties So why have so few women heard about it?
After listening to a group of women, all three years older than me, share their experiences, the break-through bleeding, the three week long periods or two periods in a month, not to mention the dreaded hot flashes; I was surprised and alarmed. Turns out that’s only the tip of the iceberg. A good friend of mine, in comedic fashion, explained the internal furnace effect, where one’s whole body radiates heat from head to toe. Despite laughing, I found it more scary than funny, especially after learning that perimenopause can last up to 10 years before menopause (the cessation of one’s menstrual cycle for 12 consecutive months) is complete. My friend and I commiserated over our expanding waistlines, the difficulty of losing weight, our lack of quality sleep, mood changes and the aches and pains of aging. Suddenly buying spanx seemed like a good idea, I started stretching everyday and doing push-ups, took supplements and drank more water. But my biggest fear was the brain fog, could I blame perimenopause for that too?
Estrogen, the hormone that regulates the female reproductive system declines during this period and less estrogen may affect one’s ability to maintain a moderate body weight which can increase levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, as well as put one at higher risk for chronic disease. So how does one deal with all the stress and anxiety of this mid-life change when already consumed with work, relationships, marriage, raising a family, bills, housing, putting meals on the table, getting the kids to school and play dates and extracurricular activities?
Women often go into a “coping mode” when physically and emotionally stressed; we are too busy, just getting by and juggling so many responsibilities on little sleep. Add fluctuating hormones to the mix and women are burnt out and exhausted; relying on caffeine, alcohol, nicotine and sugar just to make it through the day. Could all this multi-tasking also be the source be the cause of mental fatigue and increasing anxiety? How do we make ourselves a priority?
One can start by practising stress reduction techniques like meditation, yoga, moderate exercise or simply listening to music to quiet the mind from other distractions. Prioritizing the things that truly matter and letting go of others can also help. When we put ourselves first it is not a selfish act; rather it allows us the energy and capacity to support the important people in our lives. Seeking guidance from a clinical counsellor who will provide a safe space for open dialogue and help you problem-solve and develop coping techniques to improve your mental health can also play an important part. You do not have to go through one of life’s biggest changes alone. Therapists are experts in listening and are available to help you navigate the challenges of perimenopause and/or menopause and plan for a happier, healthier life.